5 tips for successful bed time routines.

As your baby's night sleep settles into more predictable patterns sometime around the third month, you may decide to instigate a bedtime routine. Starting a bedtime routine is a practical way to smooth your little glo-worm's transition into a healthy and long lasting night sleep rhythm. I've put together some simple suggestions for parents to use as a reference while they are settling on the slumber starting system that seems the most suitable for their little sweetheart. And for no reason at all, each of my bedtime routine tips start with an "s".

1. Simple.
Yes, keep your routine simple. You don't want to have to remember any complicated steps or new-fangled techniques while you are trying to soothe your little angel at night. Things like a well-known lullaby, a book or a simple baby massage after a diaper change are popular elements for an effective bedtime routine. I recommend that parents only incorporate 2 or 3 elements that are not strictly essential.

2. Soothing.
Try to keep all of the elements of your baby's bedtime routine nice and soothing. You may find baths very relaxing, however, for a baby, bath time is not only exciting, but quite often it can be somewhat stressful as well. Some baby books also are exciting and interesting and should be excluded from the bedtime reading list. Turning the lights low, ambient music, swaddling and a relaxing scent like lavender or chamomile are great soothing elements to consider including in your little snoozer's run up to bedtime.

3. Short.
There is no need to drag things out. All a bedtime routine is meant to do is identify a clear moment of down-shift from day time levels of activity and play to long uninterrupted periods of sleep throughout the night. There are three elements that need to be included at some point, a feeding, a burping and a diaper change. These three elements, in combination with insuring your baby is warm enough (but not too warm), are important because they help your baby avoid the things which usually disrupt sleep. Other elements you might include in your bedtime routine can also be practical, like swaddling or massage, but don't over load the routine by including everything you can think of which is both soothing and which could help prevent waking. A healthy bedtime routine should take between 10 and 30 minutes.

4. Strategic.
When I say "strategic" I must admit that I was getting a bit carried away with the "s" theme. However, what I mean by it is that there should be a natural flow throughout the routine. For example, a parent may begin with feeding, then burping, then changing the diaper, followed by a swaddle, a song and turning out the lights. Each element flows naturally from one another. As I have mentioned in other posts, I do recommend that parents wipe their baby's mouth out with a damp cloth after feeding to help prevent thrush, this is a good thing to consider including in a bedtime routine just after feeding. There are a few reasons I don't list the feeding as the last thing to do before laying your baby down for the night. Firstly, eating often stimulates bowel and bladder relief, and a cold wet or dirty diaper can cause a lot of problems through the night. Secondly, there is the risk of developing "thrush", which is basically a yeast infection of your baby's mouth. Developing a habit of cleaning out your baby's mouth is also beneficial when it comes to preventing tooth decay after your little punkin' eater starts cutting teeth. Thirdly, it has been my observation that laying a baby down slightly awake for night sleep, and allowing him to nod off there, rather than in your arms, is an extremely effective element that encourages long periods of uninterrupted night sleep.

5. Sustainable.
Whatever routine you arrive at, it should be flexible enough to grow with your baby. Though once your baby is consistently sleeping through the night you won't need to maintain the entire routine all the time, you'll want to be able to keep certain elements for quite a long while. The reason for this is that when you have a toddler or small child they can often suffer quite a bit of sleep disruption from simple things like travelling, potty training or teething. I have found that if there is a soothing routine that you can reiterate when these disruptions occur, they tend to pass much more quickly. As an adult I was surprised to discover that I am still ridiculously soothed by my mother singing certain songs to me while she gently strokes my hair.

Samples:
1. Feed, change, swaddle, burp, mouth wipe, snuggling and humming time, lay down.
2. Massage with lightly scented oil, swaddle, feed, burp, mouth wipe, story, lay down.
3. Turn lights low, turn ambient music on, feed, burp, mouth wipe, change, swaddle, sway to the music together, lay down.
4. Turn lights low, spray a light mist of relaxing scent over bedding, feed, burp, mouth wipe, change, swaddle, sing 1 or 2 songs, lay down.
5. Feed, burp, change, mouth wipe, swaddle, turn ambient music or white noise on, story, lay down.

Obviously you can see that the subtle variations on this basic structure could go on for quite some time. When deciding on the elements of the bedtime routine and the order they should be implemented each night, remember to include the input from everyone who will be putting your sweet little sugar muffin down at night. Consistency really is an essential part of establishing an effective bedtime routine, and consistency depends on everyone being on the same page. I hope you have found these tips helpful. please do forward them to any new or expecting parents you know, and feel free to leave questions and comments. Happy parenting!

5 tips for better sleep during baby's 3rd month.

The first two months of a baby's unpredictable sleep routine can really take a toll on a new parent. The wakeful nights, the crying and gas, it is a constant struggle for parents to get enough sleep of their own at night. Though the magical "end of the third month" when sleep is supposed to even out, is just around the corner, there are a few things you can do in the meantime to help prepare your baby to slip naturally into a long and healthy sleep routine.

If you have followed my baby tips for better night sleep during the first two months, hopefully your baby is only getting up to eat 2 or 3 times during the night. The tips from the second month still apply to babies who are in their third month, as a matter of fact, if you have successfully extended the times between your babies feedings by 15 minutes, for the third month I would suggest that you attempt to extend the time further to 25 or 30 minutes. Your goal in doing this should be to have at least 4 hours between the start of each feed. Here are 5 more things you can do to encourage longer periods of night sleep during your baby's third month.

1. Integrate aromatic associations into bedtime routine.
I know I have mentioned in other posts how smell is our most powerful sense tied to memory, and one of the most fully developed senses that our babies have, but this is a different use for that association. As you begin establishing a bedtime routine, if you integrate a special soothing scent into it, your baby will begin to associate that scent with bedtime. As your baby grows, and sleep disruptions occur, when you need to re-establish the bedtime routine, using the scent will help remind your baby that night is a time for sleep. I used a lightly scented lotion to massage my son as a part of his bedtime routine for his first 8 months after coming home from the hospital, so he has that scent associated with relaxation, mommy and sleeping. When he is sick I will rub a little of the scented lotion on the collar of his pajamas, and it soothes him even now at 2 years old.

2. Try different swaddles.
At different stages of development your baby will resist different types of swaddling. For a few weeks you may need to leave one of your baby's arms free, or use a swaddling technique that folds your love-burrito's arms across his chest instead of straight down to his sides. Nearly all babies will insist on having their feet free after the second month, which is fine. You can return to a full swaddle any time if your baby's sleep begins to suffer.

3. Establish a bedtime routine.
Now is the time to start creating the a routine that will signal to your little snuggle-bug that it is time to bid farewell to the conscious world for awhile. The exact elements of your routine don't particularly matter, as long as they are calming and consistent. Since you will need to perform the exact same routine every night from now on you will probably want to choose elements that are easy and flexible, like reading a story, "brushing teeth", baby massage, singing a song and rocking together. If you want to include a bath in your bedtime routine, try to have it earlier. Baths can be more stimulating than relaxing for babies, and are hard to remain consistent with especially while traveling. Feeding will most likely be a part of the bedtime routine, but I do encourage parents to try NOT to have it be the very last part. It is a good idea to wipe out your babies mouth after eating especially before night sleep to reduce the risk of thrush, and eventually that mouth-wiping out part of the bedtime routine can be replaced with teeth-brushing. Whatever routine you develop be sure that everyone who puts the babies to bed for night sleep maintains a very similar version, since consistency is the real key here. You do not need to use this same routine for naps because of the amount of time involved, but if you find that it works for you, then there is nothing wrong with it either.

4. Reduce your baby's night feeding amount.
Your baby still needs a large amount of food spread over full 24 hour periods. However, in order to begin reducing subliminal expected feedings, try to offer your baby about half an ounce less than you would normally offer at night feedings(for breastfeeding mothers this would translate into reducing the time spent breastfeeding by about 3 or 4 minutes, though you should probably pump afterward to completely empty your breast, in order to preserve your milk production). This will most likely be difficult at first, and if your baby insists that she is still hungry after about 15 minutes of after-meal soothing, bouncing and burping, go ahead and give her a little top-off. In time your wee wiggly giggler will be satisfied with less at night and will instead bulk up by eating more during the days.

5. Soothe your baby while laying down.

Wherever your baby sleeps at night, when he begins to fuss, try to sooth him back to sleep while he is still in bed. If it is obvious that he needs to be picked up, try to pick him up when he is not crying. Of course, this is not always possible, so if your baby is beginning to get really worked up, pick him up immediately. If you can soothe your fluffy little nightingale back to sleep at night, or at least into a calm state before being picked up, it will help to create the expectation in your baby that comfort can be found without being swept up into your arms every few hours or so. This change in expectation lends itself very well to the development of natural self-soothing habits. Quiet long-sleep periods at night are reliant on your baby's ability to develop healthy self-soothing techniques.

Though it may seem like the third month will never end, if you have some things to focus on in the meantime it will help time to pass while laying a useful frame work for any kind of sleep training that you might want to do in the future. Whether you think that a no-cry solution will work best for your family, or if you are leaning toward a quick-but-painful cry-it-out method, the process will be easier and faster overall if your baby has some of the skills she will need to adapt. I do not recommend that parents plan on implementing any sleep-training on the eve of their baby's third month "birthday", it is rare that any baby will develop so exactly as to actually change over night from an infant who needs on-demand-feedings to a baby that is ready to adjust to a whole new sleep schedule. If you watch your baby's schedule closely you will see a subtle shift over the fourth month, and at some point it will be apparent that your baby does not need to wake for food, but is waking more out of habit. This is when you will want to be ready with your sleep training plan already decided upon. What ever your parenting philosophy is, it will be easier once you start being able to get a decent amount of sleep at night again. Chin up, keep your eye on the ball, and keep telling yourself: "It DOES get easier" (for another tip that might help when laying your baby down to sleep check here). Happy parenting!